Tuesday, 19 February 2013

The Blood Donor (II)

For an easy-read version of Stewart Cree's Blog see Nigel's Blog above or go directly to this link
“Good evening Convener – you’re working late tonight - I was just about to lock up.”
“Oh fit like Nigel? I’m jist gettin’ ready for ma Civic Duties doon at the Toon Hall”

“Civic Duties Convener?”

“Aye, I’m awa doon tae the Blood Donors Award Ceremony, so I’m jist gie’in ma chain a wee bit polish afore aa go”

“Ah yes, Blood Donors, a most worthwhile and commendable sacrifice.  Are you making many awards?”

“Oh aye.  There’s 34 fowk getting’ awards for gie’in dam’t near 2,000 pints o’ blood!  So I wis hopin’ I wid pick up a few tips”.

“Tips about giving blood?”

“Na na Nigel.  It’s tips aboot the budget that aa’m needin’.  Aa’m fair scunnert tryin’ tae get enugh siller oot o’ the Government to pey aa’ oor bills – an’ ony chance o’ pittin’ up the cooncil tax a bitty his gone rich toot the windae ‘cos we’re nae allowed tae dae that.  So - aa thocht I’d turn tae the experts.”

“Well I am sure that the Blood Transfusion Service is very prudent in its financial management, but I don’t know how they can help you in your dealings with the Government.”

“Weel I thocht that they wid be jist the billies tae tell ma  hoo’ tae get bleed oot o’ a stane!  An’ file they’re aboot it -  they could, forbyes, come doon to the Cooncil Chambers on Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s aboot 11 o’clock.  Aa some think there’s a few Cooncillors that wid be prepared to volunteer tae gie blood aboot that time.”

“At 11 O’clock Convener?.  Why on earth would they volunteer at 11 O’clock?”

“Well it’s aa’ this cuts ye see.  The ither week we pit a moratorium on tea and biscuits for Cooncillors - so at 11 o’clock, fin we used tae hae wir fly cup, the best we can manage noo - is a glass o’ waater.  So there’s a fair chunce that, if the blood transfusion van came doon, the Cooncillors wid volunteer jist tae get a cup o tea and a Jammie Dodger.”

Convener, you can’t go giving blood every week for the sake of a custard cream or a bourbon.  That’s not the spirit at all – and I trust that you’ve been a regular donor yourself?

“Ahhh…. weel, there’s the rub.  There’s a wee bit o’ a problem there.  Ye see – for a laang time I wis prevented frae giein’ blood on accoont o’ a medical condition.”
 “And what condition was that?
“I wis feart!.  Aa jist couldna’ look at a needle wi’oot feelin’ faint. Even ma grannie danin’ socks set ma aff.  I think it wis aa’ Tony Hancock’s fault.  He wis aye goin’ on aboot a pint o’ blood bein a hale ermfae - an’ I didna’ realise he wis only jokin!  Bit dinna you go tellin’ aabody - ‘cos it’s ane o’ my darker secrets an’ I’m probably too auld noo tae change.”
“But Convener – you’re supposed to set an example.  If you don’t practice what you preach you’ll be accused of being a hypocrite.”
“A hippo fit?”
“A hypocrite – someone who says one thing but does another.”
“Dinna’ you dare mention Politicians!”
“I wouldn’t dream of it Convener and your secret’s safe with me….provided…..”
“Provided fit?”
“Provided you mend the error of your ways and at the very least make enquiries tonight as to whether you’re suitable as a blood donor”
“Or else?”
“Or else there may be a leak of confidential information concerning the Convener’s blood donor history”
“Hoo big a leak?”
“Oh – about a pint I imagine”
“Oh touché Nigel – aa’ll dae it – aa’ll dae it!”
“Well, I’ll hold you to your word Convener”
It’s never too late.  You can start giving blood anytime up to your 66th birthday so for more details about how you can mend the error of your ways visit the Scottish Blood Transfusion Service on:-

Some of the recipients of the Awards

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